Completely Open: Finding fulfillment?

Yesterday afternoon I was listening to NPR while driving to my bank.  I don't tend to listen to NPR often; in fact on nice days like yesterday I tend to prefer good solid rock music, perhaps something from the Stones or Foo Fighters.  You know something with strong drum beats and some oomph to it.  Ahem, back to my point.  So I was listening to NPR and there was a gentleman being interviewed on there (don't for the life of me remember his name).  He had been laid off from his corporate America job at the age of 60. 

This man was asked what he did after being let go at an age so close to retirement.  The first thing he said was that he changed the way he looked at being downsized.  The company he worked for may have downsized, but he was the same size, possessing the same skills and knowledge.  He also realized that he was at an age where getting hired was very difficult as most employers tended to prefer younger applicants with the same skill set.  This man also was married with two children at the time, a mortgage, bills, responsibilities. 

He decided to look back on his life, over which he had many, many jobs, and decide what it was that he liked the best- what gave him the greatest happiness and fulfillment.  It was teaching.  So he went and got the necessary training to be able to teach, more specifically he wanted to teach English to foreigners seeking citizenship to the United States.  So he got the necessary training and ended up charming a 25 year old head of the program he wanted to be a part of into giving him a job  Now he teaches classes of 10 or so foreigners at a time the English language. 

What struck me about the entire story and this man in general was how he kept coming back to this idea that his corporate job did not fulfill him and was not meaningful to him in any way.  He made good money at it, but it did not make him happy or feel as if he was making a difference.  Ironically, the teaching job he has now does.  He makes very little at the job, a stark contrast to his corporate job, but feels much more fulfilled doing it.  This man put his point very clearly: being let go from his job made him realize that he needed to do something much more meaningful with his life.  This idea just took hold of me right then on the spot and did not let go.



I thought about this idea for the remainder of the day.  In fact it is still up there bouncing around my active brain as I write this.  Doing meaningful work and making a difference are two ideas that have been pulling at me for some time now.  I do not find either in the job I am in currently.  Fulfillment is not something my current job may not be able to provide me, not now and perhaps not ever. 

In truth, I have never been someone who is motivated by money and financial gains.  There was a while there when I really tried to be. I re-focused my mind to concern itself with only making more money and being a financial success. But in the end I went back to my old ways.  For me, it is more important to be happy in what I do and feel I am making a difference on the world.  Without those feelings, I tend to languish in a job and eventually lose interest altogether.  It is hard for me to sustain excitement in a job that does not nourish me emotionally and mentally.

This man sat down and thought about where he was at and determined what course would make him happy and went after it with both hands.  I have sat down and thought about it and become more and more confused the longer I do.  I can't seem to being able to choose one area in which I would find fulfillment, in which I would make the difference I desire to.  I have thought about several professions, one of them teaching, and each time cannot seem to gain steam to work toward it.  It is like I possess the desire to change but either have not yet figured out the proper field to work in or simply lack the passion to do what is necessary. 

It is so damn frustrating to know you should do something different but not know what that something is just yet.  I have made list after list, read article after article, and I have yet to find that one field that just ignites me.  I am not sure if I am doing it wrong here and perhaps need to take a step back for a moment and look at things from a larger viewpoint.  Or perhaps I need to take a break and allow the solution to present itself naturally? 

What this man said is important and is an idea lost in our money first society.  His comments and ideas caused me to ask the right questions, ones like: is fulfillment more important than material wealth when it comes to what profession I want to work in?  This is a good question and one that everyone should ask themselves at some point in their lives.

Being a parent, I understand the responsibilities that entails and how those feelings of obligation to provide for your children can block any real exploration of fields of employment that could bring greater enjoyment.  It is hard to be selfish and take a risk to go after what you really want when you have children.  It is such a risk that many parents never take it.  I can't look negatively on them, sometimes necessity and providing well for your children are very valid reasons in themselves and can provide their own fulfillment. 

It is hard, that is certain.  But in truth, you only get one shot at life.  My wife understands this and is currently attending college to get a degree in Interior Design.  We decided together that her happiness and fulfillment was important and that she deserved the opportunity to pursue the field of work she had real passion for.   It was exactly as this gentleman had done when he decided to take the risk and do what he loved.  My wife will graduate yet this year and will be working in the field she loves very soon.  I am proud of her for working toward this goal and for being willing to sacrifice to get what she wants to get out of life.  I do not regret our decision to send her back, not one day.  Her overall happiness is very important to me. 

But now it has come to the point where I, too, have to decide what it is that will give me happiness and fulfillment in my career.  Seeing what this man did and the decisions he made has given me new desire to once again work hard to figure out just where I belong.  It is important for me to be happy in what I do.  I love my children and wife very much and they all provide me much happiness and fulfillment in many wonderful ways.  But it is not enough.  I need and want more. 

It is time to consider what I would love to do, risks be damned.  Meaning, Fulfillment, Happiness can no longer be words on a vision board to me anymore.  They have to be a reality.  Because if I do not act soon, my creative soul will die and my only source of passion will be my children and wife.  There is nothing certainly wrong with that for many people.  But not for me. 

If this gentleman can do it at 60, there is no reason I cannot do it now.  Life is simply too short.  Time to find meaning in the workplace, time to start making a difference.

I encourage all of you to evaluate where you are in your professional lives as well.  Is fulfillment greater than wealth?  Or is the reverse true?  Only you can decide that.  But again it is a conversation worth having with yourself.

To end this post, I will pose a question:  What is a meaningful life to you?