Completely Open: Time to make nice with the Refs, NFL!

I just had the horror of watching the worst call I have ever seen in a professional football game.  Yes, I just watched the ending of the Packers-Seahawks game tonight on Monday Night Football.  As you can probably assume, I am a Packer fan.  I mean I live in Wisconsin, right?  But being a Packer fan comes secondary to being a fan of the NFL.  I love the NFL and it is one of the finest run professional league in all of American sports, until now. 

These replacement refs are no longer a joke, not something to be laughed off or looked at as a minor incoveinence.  No, these replacement refs are now ruining the integrity of the game.  Their mistakes are changing the course of contests and affected more than just isolated plays.  They are affected the records of teams, the results of games, and are weakening the trust players, coaches, and fans have in the NFL. 

For evidence (for those who did not watch tonight) let me cite a few of the more egregious calls made by the refs in this contest.  It was the fourth quarter, 42 seconds left, and Sam Shields is called for pass interference on Sidney Rice.  The replay clearly shows it was Rice not Shields who should have been called for pass interference.  Rice had his arm around Shields.  It was blatant offensive pass interference. 

There was the roughing the passer call prior to that, a call that negated a Packer interception of Russell Wilson.  It wasn't roughing the passer unless roughing the passer encompasses making a tackle on a quarterback.  Then they should call it on nearly every play where the quarterback takes a hit. 

Last there was the call heard round the world.  With no time left in regulation, Russell Wilson hoists up a hail mary to the left corner of the endzone.  Several Packers and Seahawk players go up for it.  Prior to that however, Sidney Rice pushed down a Green Bay defender, a clear interference call.  But lets move on.  So Golden Tate and M.D. Jennings go up for the ball.  Jennings gets a hold of it and pulls it to his chest.  Upon replay it is clear Jennings has it to his chest, a clear sign of possession.  Both Jennings and Tate go to the ground with Tate clawing for the ball.  Two officials come running up, one calls it a touchdown, the other a touchback.  To the replay...  After a extensive review, the head ref comes out and says the ruling on the field stands: Touchdown. 

Having seen the play several times I do not understand how they uphold the call of touchdown.  There is some talk of simultaneous possession.  But after some research by yours truly, this play does not fall under that rule.  Here is the definition directly from the NFL itself:

Item 5: Simultaneous Catch.

􀀃If a pass is caught simultaneously by two eligible opponents, and both players

retain it, the ball belongs to the passers. It is not a simultaneous catch if a player gains control first and an

opponent subsequently gains joint control. If the ball is muffed after simultaneous touching by two such

players, all the players of the passing team become eligible to catch the loose ball.


Anyway, it is clear that Jennings had control of the ball first, hence no simultaneous possession.  The refs flat out got it wrong.  Not alittle wrong, but plain wrong. 

Then the was the confusion that took place after.  Packers players leaving the field of play.  Officials scrambling to establish order.  Media on the field.  It was pure chaos.  Can't blame the Packers for leaving the field.  They got robbed.  I wouldn't want to stay either.  But, the NFL rules require the Seahawks to kick the extra point.  So, the Packers had to have 11 men on the field. 

Slowly, Packers players came back out and 11 of them lined up for the pointless extra point.  Good for them.  Bad on the refs for not explaining what was happening. 

Week 3 in the NFL is in the books.  Can't take it back, can't change it.  But now the question becomes:  Where do we go from here? 

As I said at the open, these refs are clearly now ruining the integrity of the game.  This experiment by Commissioner Goddell can no longer be allowed to continue.  The players are angry, the coaches are angry, and most importantly the fans are now angry.  It is time for Goddell to put an end to this.

My hope is that this incident will finally prompt the NFL and Goddell to come to an agreement with the officials.  Ideally a deal would be reached before Thursday nights game with the Browns and Ravens.  A true NFL fan can hope, right?

In all seriousness, I love the NFL.  Many of my best memories in life involve watching an NFL game with family and friends.  I don't want to see the integrity of the game be sacrificed like this.  The time for pettiness is over.  Compromise is needed.  I hope and pray the commissioner heeds the requests of true fans like myself and ends this grand and ultimately failed experiment of his.  The choice is his.  Restore the NFL to a position of respect or allow it to plunge further into chaos and mockery. 

Completely Open: What the fuck am I doing?

God has a way of continually reminding me what a lazy, whiny person I am.  I mean seriously.  He continues to point me in the direction of news stories and people who either have it harder than I do currently, be it financially, physically, or personally.  Or people who have large obstacles or hardships and overcome them to achieve great success.  Yesterday it was a story of a man who lost both legs in combat and went on to train for and win a para-olympic event. Today it was this story.

There is this girl in Texas named Lizzie Velasquez.  She was born with a rare disorder that causes her to have no adipose tissue, which means she is unable to produce muscle, store energy, or gain weight.  It is such a rare condition that there are only two other people in the world who have it.  When Lizzie was in high school, one of Lizzie's classmates posted a video to YouTube calling her the world ugliest woman.  Scores of nasty, despicable comments were posted to the video, many of which called her a monster or told her to kill herself.  You see due to Lizzie's condition she does look different than many, you can see the photos of her at the link.  But I would not say she is ugly per se. 

Lizzie doesn't think she is ugly either.  She read each and every one of the comments on that YouTube video, every one.  Then she took those comments and used them as motivation to achieve her goals.  One was to be an author.  This year Lizzie has published her second book titled "Be Beautiful, Be You".  Her next goal was to be a motivational speaker.  She has done that too and has spoken at over 200 workshops across the country.  She also wanted to graduate college.  Lizzie is currently a senior studying communication as Texas State University. 

The point here is that despite the major health issues, despite the social hurdles she has to overcome, Lizzie went out and did what she wanted in life and she is only 23!  I am 34 and have done none of the things I wanted to in my life. 

That statement comes across pretty loaded and I am sure it makes it clear I have many regrets.  I do, but not in the ways you would think.  I do not look back at the wrong choices I have made and dwell on them.  Nor do I allow my past choices to cause me sadness or fill me with remorse.  No, I look back at my choices, both wrong and right, and figure out why I made them and in the case of some how I can make better choices both now and in the future.  So I have the right mindset, right?

But at the same time I keep making the same mistakes.  I keep finding new and exciting ways to put off what I want.  To push back the hard work I should be engaged in now off to another day, another week, and another year.  I lack discipline, I lack clear focus, and I am a coward. 

Completely Open: The Empty Chair

I don't need to spend much time, if at all, explaining what the image above means, what it references, or what the above speaker said.  But for those who have been in a cave for the last few days all I will say is that Clint Eastwood spoke at the Republican National Convention in Tampa this past week and that yes he is indeed talking to a chair.  The imaginary person in that chair is supposed to be President Obama and Eastwood tried to give him the business.  The resulting speech was a incoherent mess, filled with odd moments and poor choices of words.  It was a misstep by the RNC, Romney's camp, and Mr. Romney himself.  One which I am sure all parties wish they could take back.

Over the last several days I have been thinking over this idea of an empty chair and the symbolism it could represent.  I started to think who could be a theoretical person sitting in that chair, what they would want to hear, what their fears are, their concerns, their hopes.  Then this past Sunday morning on one of the political talking head shows one of the commentators came to the same idea I had.  An idea that I am going to share with you now. 

Let's start by taking Obama out of Mr. Eastwood's empty chair.  The President has far better things to do than deal with a tongue lashing from the likes of Eastwood.  Now let's instead put into that chair people representing the middle class and poor in America, all those people who are struggling right now due to the economic downturn.  Let's establish that struggling is not missing a trip to Martha's vineyard, or putting off buying one more luxury car.  No, struggling is not paying your mortgage, having trouble feeding your kids, having trouble providing for basic needs. 

To be more clear, let's put in that chair any one of the following:  An elderly man or woman, who is ill but does not want to go into a nursing home for care and would prefer to be cared for by their children or family, a single mom who is working 2-3 jobs just to pay her bills, keep her house from being foreclosed, and putting some food on the table, a recent college graduate who has substantial student loan debt and is working at a Mcdonalds, making much less than they should, due to them being unable to find a job in their field of study,  a family who is bankrupt due to their child having cancer, and a baby boomer who is coming closer and closer to retirement age, but is unsure if they can afford to retire.  From this point forward when I refer to the empty chair, it is people like these to which I refer.  

The above is but a small cross section of the middle class and poor in this country.  There are many, many more examples I could use.  But the point is this:  Everyone in the middle class and poor is suffering right now.  Everyone is having a hard time making ends meet and particularly having trouble providing for the basic needs of themselves or those they are charged with providing for.  These are the people who turn out to vote and many of them are scared.  Many of them feel alone, they don't have much hope for the future and only see things getting worse from here.  They look to government to help them, they look to their leaders to provide leadership, true leadership.  But no true leader has stood up, no true leader has revealed himself.  The empty chair is left with just two pretenders. 

As of this writing, neither President Obama or Mr. Romney have told the American People, in clear terms, what their plan is for the country.  Neither of them has given any solid idea what they are going to do to help put this country back on the right track.  Neither has been clear on anything to this point, both speaking in vague terms and then changing their positions weekly (ahem Mr. Romney ahem). 

The empty chair is angry.  The empty chair just wants straight answers.  Both the President and Mr. Romney need to stop playing politics and start being honest and straightforward.  We as a country are in collectively one of the worst positions we have been in since the great depression.  The time for games is over.  We have serious problems in this country and they require serious answers.  I don't believe it is naive of me, nor for those in the empty chair, to ask for their leaders to be straight with them. 

No one expects either of these gentleman to alone fix the problems we face.  It is unrealistic to imagine either of these gentleman singlehandedly restoring this country.  The problems we face will require all of us to work together, Democrat and Republican, toward a shared goal and/or goals.  But we can't begin to do that until we have a clear idea what that goal or goals are.  That is the responsibility of our leaders and primarily those at the very top, The President being one of them. 

The President and Mr. Romney need to start talking to the empty chair.  They need to tell them what they are going to do to help them.  What are they going to do about taxes?  Will they repeal the Bush tax cuts?  Will they raise taxes further on the most wealthy?  Will they keep the middle class tax cut?  How will they stimulate the middle class to spend again?  What will they do to create jobs? How will they cut spending and what is the timetable?  How will they fix health care?  What will they do about the corporate tax rate?  Immigration?  The still depressed housing market?  And the list goes on....

Can you tell me what either of these gentleman are going to do about any one of the above issues?  No.  Well neither can I and that is the problem.  The time for political posturing, needless backbiting, and outright mudslinging is over.  It is time the empty chair demands more of the candidates for President.  It is time the empty chair demands to be heard and their concerns be addressed honestly by both candidates. 

The President will have his opportunity this week to address the empty chair and to make his intentions for the country clear at the Democratic Convention in Charlotte.  I do hope sincerely that he takes advantage of it.  That he realizes truly what is at stake and that he needs to change the way things are done.  That he needs to inspire people again, like he did four years ago, and excite people again about what this country can do when united and how great we can become.

Unfortunately my money is on him not doing any of that.  Which indeed saddens me quite a bit.  But he is a pretender. 

 In closing I will say that the candidate who figures out how to talk to the empty chair. the one to lay out a clear roadmap for America,  will be the one to win the Presidency.  The empty chair is tired of being ignored, tired of being lied to, and tired of being marginalized.  It is time for the empty chair and those it represents to finally be noticed and taken seriously.  The empty chair is waiting.  Will a real leader please stand up?

Completely Open: When is suicide not cowardly?

As I am sure many of you are well aware, acclaimed Hollywood director Tony Scott committed suicide on Sunday.  He was 68 years old.  Mr. Scott apparently drove his car to the Vincent Thomas bridge in LA at 12:30pm on Sunday.  He then exited the car, scaled a 10 foot fence and jumped to his death, in full view of other motorists and boaters below.  It has been speculated that Mr. Scott had an inoperable brain tumor and that could perhaps explain his suicide. 

As of this writing, there are several sites disputing the claims that Mr. Scott did indeed have brain cancer.  So it is still up for debate at this hour.  But if it is proven true that Scott did indeed have brain cancer it raises some interesting questions, in my opinion, in regards to Mr. Scott's suicide. 

The central question to me, if the rumors of cancer are proven true, is whether Mr. Scott's actions were justified or cowardly.  I have imagined if it was myself who received the news of having an inoperable, probably terminal, brain tumor.  I imagine myself in the room, alone with the doctor as I am sure Mr. Scott was.  Thoughts of my two children, Scott had two as well, and then my wife.  Knowing how painful to me it would be to have my young sons see me deteriorate, as I most certainly would.  The struggles I would put my wife through with her having to care for me when things took the turn for the worse and I was bed-ridden, sick from the treatment, unable to eat.  My mind would be preoccupied with just how bad it would get and just how much I would put my family through. 

When I put myself in that mindset, I begin to really understand why Mr. Scott may have decided that suicide was the better option.  I begin to see how ending your life on your terms and when you want to could be very appealing.  How satisfying it would be knowing your family, and more importantly your children, would remember you only as the vibrant, driven, healthy person they knew you as before your death and not as some helpless, pale shadow of your former self. 

I see the appeal of it and it is a perfectly justifiable viewpoint and mindset.  However, with that said, I can say that I still feel what Mr. Scott did was cowardly and selfish.  There has been many people who have lived many years with brain tumors.  It is possible that Mr. Scott could have lived another 2-4 years with the tumor.  That is 2-4 years he could spend with his wife, his children.  Mr. Scott has more wealth than can be imagined.  I am sure he could have walked away from his duties in the production company he and his brother Ridley (Scott)  formed, as well as any future directing projects.  He could then spend real quality time with his family before the time came. 

Now I grant that I was not present to hear the diagnosis and I do not know the timetable Mr. Scott's physician gave him.  So he could have had 6 months, a year, maybe more, maybe less.  But the point is that he would have had more time.  It just feels selfish to me to take your own life and deny your children and wife that time they could have had with you.  I understand the desire to remain strong, invincible in your children's eyes, the desire to never appear weak in front of them.  But at some point as a father you have to realize that your time with them is more important than how they see you in the end. 

I am certain Mr. Scott's children would have remembered him as he was before the cancer and not how he was when it finally got him. They would have remembered him for his courage in fighting the cancer and not giving up.  They would have remembered him when he was vital, vibrant, and full of life.  Sure, they would have had the images of him near death with them always.  But they still would have chose to remember him before all that.

Another thing to consider is all the good in the world Mr. Scott could have done with the limited time he had left.  He could have set up non-profits to help those in need, raised money for cancer research, and used his celebrity and clout to champion worthy causes.  He could have used the limited time he had to make as much of an impact on the world around him, and those specifically in need.  He could have used the cancer as a way to give him greater focus and with the limited timetable really accomplish alot. 

But alas he did not.  Mr. Scott decided it was easier to just take his own life and protect his family from the pain his eventual downward path would cause them.  He decided it was better to decide when he was gonna leave this Earth and how he was gonna do it.  But ultimately it was the wrong decision, the wrong path to take. 

So now I leave it to you my readers.  When is it not cowardly and selfish to take your own life?  Do you feel Mr. Scott was cowardly and selfish for taking his life instead of facing the cancer? 

I am saddened at Mr. Scott's death and feel immense pain for his two boys and wife.  But I still feel it was better for him to suffer through and have as much time as he would be allowed with the ones he loved.  When and if the time comes, I will choose to fight for as long as I can and be there for the ones that I love and whom love me. 

It is truly a sad tragic event.  My heart goes out to the Mr. Scott's family and friends. 

Completely Open: What's it all REALLY about.

I am 34 years old this year.  I have worked many jobs in many fields; blue collar, white collar, and everything in between.  I have loved, lost, and loved again.  I have witnessed the birth of my two boys, which were two of the single greatest moments of my life to this point.  I have lost people I knew or loved and I have seen people I knew hit by tragedy and incredibly hard times, especially in the last few years.  In short, I have lived a pretty average life to this point. 

But when I look back at the last 16 years ( I was not really an adult until 18) and think about the choices I made and the path I took the one thing that stands out to me is that it was safe.  Sure I had hard times and struggled, but by and large I never in my life took a risk.  I never said Fuck it and went after something I was interested in, consequences be damned.  No I always played it safe.

Completely Open: I have a dream...

I wonder what the great Martin Luther King would have thought about this country as it is right now?

In light of all this political mudslinging and arguing over what is best for America, I decided to write what I would like to see from this country before I die.  So in the words of the great Martin Luther King Jr, who died 44 years ago yesterday-  I have a dream:

Completely Open: Finding fulfillment?

Yesterday afternoon I was listening to NPR while driving to my bank.  I don't tend to listen to NPR often; in fact on nice days like yesterday I tend to prefer good solid rock music, perhaps something from the Stones or Foo Fighters.  You know something with strong drum beats and some oomph to it.  Ahem, back to my point.  So I was listening to NPR and there was a gentleman being interviewed on there (don't for the life of me remember his name).  He had been laid off from his corporate America job at the age of 60. 

This man was asked what he did after being let go at an age so close to retirement.  The first thing he said was that he changed the way he looked at being downsized.  The company he worked for may have downsized, but he was the same size, possessing the same skills and knowledge.  He also realized that he was at an age where getting hired was very difficult as most employers tended to prefer younger applicants with the same skill set.  This man also was married with two children at the time, a mortgage, bills, responsibilities. 

He decided to look back on his life, over which he had many, many jobs, and decide what it was that he liked the best- what gave him the greatest happiness and fulfillment.  It was teaching.  So he went and got the necessary training to be able to teach, more specifically he wanted to teach English to foreigners seeking citizenship to the United States.  So he got the necessary training and ended up charming a 25 year old head of the program he wanted to be a part of into giving him a job  Now he teaches classes of 10 or so foreigners at a time the English language. 

What struck me about the entire story and this man in general was how he kept coming back to this idea that his corporate job did not fulfill him and was not meaningful to him in any way.  He made good money at it, but it did not make him happy or feel as if he was making a difference.  Ironically, the teaching job he has now does.  He makes very little at the job, a stark contrast to his corporate job, but feels much more fulfilled doing it.  This man put his point very clearly: being let go from his job made him realize that he needed to do something much more meaningful with his life.  This idea just took hold of me right then on the spot and did not let go.

A new category!: Completely Open

Good evening my readers.  I wanted to announce the creation of a new category on this blog.  Yea!!! Woot, Woot!!!  Ok settle down.  The category is going to be called Completely Open.  After writing on this blog over the last several weeks I have realized that there are still things that I want to write about that don't readily fit into any of the existing categories I have on the blog at this time.  So instead of not writing them, I decided to create another category to put them in. 

Completely Open will be posts that are exactly that- open.  Mostly though they will be observations, stories, and asides from my own personal life.  They could be related to being a parent with the trials, tribulations, setbacks, joys, successes, and wonderful things that it all entails.  They could be observations of mine about the world around me or about people I have met or things I have heard.  Posts to this topic will be more personal than some of the others contained within this blog. 

However, there will be limits.  I will never mention the real names of people in these posts, nor will I disclose real locations.  I resolved initially to not put too much out there into the vacuum of the Internet for all to see.  I want to express my opinions and I want to put out there things of interest to me.  But what I do not want to do is put too much out there about people who are close to me.  They did not ask to be included in this blog and I want to make sure to protect them.  So the posts to this topic will be personal in that they will be based on my experiences but the people involved will hopefully remain safely anonymous.

So expect some posts to this category very soon.  Until then, thank you for your continued readership. 

Night.