I have not written about my personal life much on this site. There are things here and there, but nothing that really goes deep into my life as it exists. I did that because I really wanted my personal life to remain so and my views, reviews and commentaries on films, TV, politics, and literature to remain separate from what is going on in my own life. The funny thing is that what is going on in my personal life, the events I am experiencing in that moment or in the past, inform what I write. They influence my views and opinions and inform greatly how I feel about many things. It is the nature of all writing. In this case though both worlds, my writing and my personal life, are literally coming together and overlapping.
To give you a bit of backstory here, I am currently unemployed. I worked in the insurance industry for 10 years back home in Wisconsin. Six months ago my wife was offered a good job in hospitality design in Las Vegas. It was an opportunity she could build off of and really forge a good career from. So of course we decided to make the move. She left ahead of me in early November of last year and I packed us up and then drove cross country with my two kids in the middle of December. We encountered car troubles, ice storms, inclement weather, beautiful views, nice people, and everything in between. It was an adventure, in good ways and bad, and one that I am sure I will have many stories to share sometime in the future. But for now, I am here in Las Vegas and I am unemployed.
I have searched for work and have went on plenty of interviews, nearly all of them for sales jobs and many of those in the insurance industry. That is of course unsurprising as that is where all my experience lies. I have had several offers, all of which I have had to turn down. The main reason for that: childcare. It is going to cost me a fortune to pay for childcare for my 3 year old son and wrap around care for my 6 year old. Many of the jobs I have been offered to this point do not offer a base salary and only offer commission. The ones that have offered a base were too low for me to take.
My wife is just starting out in her new career and therefore is not making a large salary yet. I am not mad about that as I know that is how things go when you are starting out in a new career. I am just grateful they offered my wife this opportunity in something she loves. I am glad she is able to work in a field she loves and build a real career, one she can be proud of. But with her salary being low, she is unable to absorb the cost of childcare until I get up and running in a sales job.
As of right now I find myself in the odd position of not being able to find something that will pay enough for me to take. It is a frustrating place to be as I really want to start making money to start to rebuild things back up for my family after the considerable costs of this move. I want to provide more for my kids and better stability for us all on the whole. But the hard truth right now is that no one is willing to pay or I cannot seem to find a job that pays enough for us to break even when childcare and other expenses, created by my working, are factored in.
It has been difficult, as you can imagine, and I am itching to get back to work. My wife has been very understanding through all of this and has been patient as I have worked to find a job. We have many friends back home in Wisconsin who have faced similar challenges and some who have decided to have one spouse stay home and take care of the kids until they all are in full day school. This has been something my wife and I have considered. In fact, this week we had a conversation and both came to the same conclusion. Perhaps I am not meant to work in a 9-5 job right now, maybe I am meant to pursue something alittle less conventional.
I have long had a love of film and specifically writing about film. I have always sought out news about movies in production, message boards that focus on certain films, types of films, specific genres, and all of that, and have been active in the comments sections and message boards on many entertainment news sites. I have always remained connected to the world of Hollywood and the world of film, no matter what day job I was doing at the time. It is the one thing I have been passionate about no matter what.
I have long contemplated the idea of writing about film professionally. This blog was my first steps into that arena and it has been used to this point to help me develop my skills when it comes to writing about film, but also as a way for me to express my interests and passions related to film and entertainment. It has been fun and I have enjoyed writing on here, even though my readership has not grown in the years following this blog's inception. A fact that I am surprisingly ok with for now as I have not done nearly enough to promote the blog broadly.
While again it is nice to write on this blog, it does not provide me with any monetary return. So I need to look outside of it in order to find an avenue that will. That avenue is freelance writing. My focus for this writing will be in the world of film and entertainment. The pieces I am considering would tackle different issues in the world of film, each with a unique angle or argument to be made.
I own a tattered moleskin notebook that I have had since I was in college 7 years ago. This notebook contains outlines for novels and short stories, poetry, journal entries, and also ideas regarding articles on film. Some of these ideas are dated now, but many of them are still very much relevant to the world of film today. It is these ideas I am going to focus on and write about.
If I am being honest, with myself and you, my reader, I am so incredibly excited about this all. I had made so many excuses and hid behind so many things in the years prior to now. I was a coward, one who never embraced his passions and pursued them in ways that could lead to an actual career. Now, due to the struggles I have had to this point, financially and in other ways, I no longer care about the risks. I no longer am worried about failing and have come to a place where each day I am aware of how finite my life is.
I have had people I have known die over this past year, some of them around my age. Nothing truly reminds you of your own mortality than the loss of someone who was much like you. I try and be mindful of that fact now and am working to take more risks in my life and do more things I have wanted to but made excuses for not doing before. This, freelance writing, has become one of them. Again thankfully my wife is on board with this and is supporting me completely as I go in this new direction.
Now I may find a perfectly acceptable 9-5 job here in the future as I not completely abandoning that search. As much as it is nice to throw caution to the wind and dive recklessly in after a dream, you still have to be alittle bit practical. So while my goal is to kickstart my writing career with freelance work, I know many writers had to do odd jobs in order to pay the bills. I do not feel I am any different, so I know at some point I will probably need a more regular job while I continue to write.
As of the date of this writing I have begun writing an article. One that I hope will get published and start me on the path to something completely new. All I can do is try my best, work as hard as I can, and the rest is left to chance. That is my mindset and approach as I begin writing in earnest. My goal is to move up from this blog to regularly writing articles about film in a well known publication or several well known ones, most likely online. That is the finish line for me and my ultimate goal. I am excited to have begun the work on this. It is time for some new things for me and time for me to embrace old dreams and old ideas about what I wanted to do with my life.
I am looking forward to sharing this all with you as time goes on and I progress with my writing. I will continue to write about films in this shorter format even as I work on pieces of a longer length. I enjoy writing so much on this blog and don't think I will probably ever stop. But I will also add articles now to this blog that will chronicle my writing progression and my challenges in the submission process. I hope you will follow me on this journey. It is a very exciting time for me and it is the first time in a long time I feel alive.
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