As I am sure you are already aware, actor and comedy legend Robin Williams took his own life late Sunday night. The news of his death came late in the day on Monday and it spread through all forms of media. Celebrities and friends of Williams wrote heartfelt messages on Twitter and released statements through official channels. Regular people, the ones Mr. Williams spent his life entertaining, erected makeshift memorials outside his Californian home, on the steps of the home in San Francisco used in the film Mrs.Doubtfire and on the step of the home used for the television show Mork and Mindy. The media did their part too and video clips were shown and highlight reels put together. The response was correct and felt right for someone like Mr. Williams.
For me, I was at first shocked at the news of his passing and then saddened when it was speculated and later confirmed that he had taken his own life. I did not know Robin Williams, most did not. But it still felt like a profound loss to me. I essentially grew up watching films with Robin Williams in them. There was the great ones, films like Good Morning Vietnam, The Fisher King, Insomnia, Good Will Hunting, and of course Dead Poets Society. I could write a whole blog post about how much Dead Poet Society touched me and became one of my all time favorite films. There is also the films that were good, ones like Hook, What Dreams May Come, Patch Adams, Jack, and Jumanji. My wife loves What Dreams May Come and will watch it whenever it is on TV or I have the inkling to throw it in the DVD player. She simply loves that movie.
I remember when I first saw Dead Poets Society on television of all places. As I watched the film I remember thinking to myself I wanted to literally be the character that Williams was playing. I wanted to inspire young people like he did to embrace creative works and to more importantly embrace their own creativity. I was still just a young man at that time and was still figuring out who I was. In many ways I still am. But that movie made me realize that I wanted to be involved in creative arts and I wanted to teach and inspire people like that character did. Could another actor in that role have inspired me as much? Possibly. But I like to think not. Mr. Williams really proved in that role that he could be more than a comedic presence in a film and could really bring a layered character to life. He was truly great.
Those are the things I remember when it comes to Robin Williams. How his work touched me, entertained me, and in some cases made me think. I will miss him greatly and regret I will not be able to see what he would do in his later years, the films he would release, the surprises that perhaps were in store. But the films and television work only encompass Robin Williams the actor and entertainer. Robin Williams the person was something different from that as it often is when it comes to actors.
As details about Mr. Williams life come out in the wake of his death, one thing becomes clear: Mr. Williams struggled and fought his demons his whole life. He became an alcoholic and cocaine user when he was working on Mork and Mindy. But then quit the cocaine cold after the death of his friend John Belushi of an overdose. The strength and conviction to do that is inspiring. Later, Mr. Williams would overcome his alcoholism and would stay sober for many years after that. He fought depression for most of his later years and sought help through treatment and counseling in order to overcome it. He had demons and real struggles and he fought them each time and overcame them. In short, he was a fighter.
That is why I am so upset by the notion that Mr. Williams was a coward for taking his own life or was selfish or weak. That could not be farther from the truth, based on what I have read of the man. Fox News' Shepard Smith made the comment during his show last night that Mr. Williams was a coward for doing what he did in taking his own life. He subsequently took that comment back after massive backlash online and in print. I would argue to Shepard Smith there is nothing cowardly in taking your own life. It is much harder to face death than it is to battle on in life. I would imagine Shepard Smith has never battled depression or has never considered committing suicide. If he had, he would not have made the comment he did on his show. He would have understood and been sympathetic, not judgmental and cruel.
Shepard Smith's comments really highlights a problem we have in society when it comes to depression and suicide and how view and subsequently talk about each of them or both of them together. We still live in a era where being depressed is something shameful and should be corrected by seeing someone or getting medicated. We do not, collectively as a society, want to honestly look at how prevalent depression is in our money-driven, materialistic culture. We do not want to look at the causes of it and rather we just want to concentrate on how to fix it with medication. We do not want to acknowledge it is out there and do not want to put a face to it. We would rather not talk about it and not bring it to the forefront, to the mainstream. It is something that can be acknowledged and then quickly handled.
Suicide is something no one really seems to know how to talk about after it happens. Sure there are always the calls to seek help if you are considering taking your own life. Or there is the hand wringing by family and friends of the deceased, all wondering if there was something they could have done different that might have prevented that person from taking their own life. Now none of these things are bad or wrong at all. I think people who are having suicidal thoughts should seek help. I also think that asking what you could have done different is important as it informs how you hopefully behave in the future. But in most cases suicide is viewed as something shameful and indicates a profound weakness in the deceased to rise above and fight on.
The Catholic Church and Catholics, by and large, believe suicide to be a sin, one that is punishable by a one way trip to Hell. I never subscribed to that idea if I am being honest. I believe God gave us the gift of our life and with that gift gave us the choice to take our life as well, if we see fit to do so. I believe God gave us that ability, not as some awful test, but as another gift. God wants us to choose our own path and have the ability to ultimately choose when our journey on Earth is at an end. I don't believe a God who would give us that choice would condemn our souls to Hell for exercising it. I understand God gives us the ability to choose in regards to many things, many of which are true legitimate sins like murder and theft. But when it comes to suicide, it is just different for me. I just can't believe God would take someone who has been generous, kind, warm-hearted, and loving in life and not allow them into heaven for making the choice to end their own life. It doesn't add up for me at all. Knowing what I know of Mr. Williams and his life, I do not believe he resides in Hell, quite the opposite in fact.
I think we need to remove the stigma of shame we now have associated with suicide and start viewing it honestly and directly. We need to discuss it openly and discuss equally as open what we can do as a society to help those who are on the edge from stepping back in off that ledge. We have this profound fear of death in our society and make great efforts to ignore it or keep it in the shadows. It is rather childish and pathetic if I am being honest. Death is a natural part of life. It is not something to fear, but rather acknowledge and understand. It will happen to us all. I think with suicide it is worse because the person who is dead was not taken from us due to disease or an act of violence. They did not die naturally of old age in their sleep. They chose to end their life. I think we, as human beings, cannot really reconcile why someone would choose to kill themselves. It seems unnatural to us.
I remember as a teenager I was often battling my own depression. I had really bad acne back then and was often very self conscious when it came to my appearance. I felt inferior to the other kids and wanted so badly to look like they did and not have to worry about my appearance. I was never a popular kid in high school and often was in the background, never front and center. I didn't date much and was not overly popular with girls. It was a rough time for me then. My parents were divorced, my mother had checked out, and I felt alone. I remember thinking about suicide then and how I would do it if I did. I obviously never acted on it, but it was in my thoughts then often.
Later, my skin cleared up and I moved on to life after high school. I have had hard times since then and have certainly felt depressed at times. But I have never since then considered killing myself. I have young children now for one and would never want to leave them behind. I have a wife that I love and I am finally starting to move in the right path in my career. So I have been able to move past those thoughts and embrace life.
However, Robin Williams I am sure did that too many a time. I am sure he had many times when he thought of killing himself and just as many when he realized how bad of an idea that would be.
I think to reduce depression to something we can control is a very foolish viewpoint to have. I think depression can be managed through medication for the most part, but I also think it is something you still struggle with. It is a disease and not a choice. I don't think it is as simple as people choosing to be depressed. I think at times you do have somecontrol over it. But others I think it simply controls you.
That really is the thing to consider here after Robin Williams passing. The man had it all; he was a huge star, had plenty of money, a successful career, a new wife, a lovely home, great children, great friends. It would seem he had much to feel good about and be happy with. Yet, he was depressed often and fought against it time and time again. He did not choose to be depressed, it simply became too hard to suppress it and keep it controlled. I think that is the key thing to consider here. He was a victim of his depression and it was a disease, one which required treatment and one which ultimately consumed him and caused him to take his own life.
It is still so profoundly sad to consider that despite how strong Robin Williams was in the past, overcoming his addictions, that he was unable to conjure the strength to overcome his depression one more time. Depression is not that simple and it is not easily fixed. It takes time and sometimes it wins out in the end. It did in this case and it does in the case of the thousands of people who commit suicide in this country each year. The only thing we can do, collectively, is work to understand what causes depression and be proactive in finding ways to treat and combat it.
We can't bring Robin Williams back. However, we can work to understand what caused his death and make greater efforts to help others to avoid having to make the choice Mr. Williams made.
Mork has returned home and we will miss him.
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